Anyway on a more positive note I can show you this:
Anyway on a more positive note I can show you this:
Well just come back from Pizza Hut. Went out with a few friends to celebrate a birthday. The food was pretty good. I had this pasta bake for main course which was pretty yummy, and for dessert I had chocolate fudge cake with vanilla ice cream. Anyway have booked a Doctor's for tomorrow afternoon, since I over-slept this morning and missed my Doctor's appointment at 8:40am. I am really looking to my 12 inch Eleventh Doctor figure a friend of mine on Gallifrey Base made. He placed it in the post on Monday. The picture of it is here:
Am looking forward to the Children In Need Doctor Who preview clip on Friday.
I am getting a screen-accurate replica of the Question Mark jumper being made for me by a group buy on the Gallifrey Base forum. All I need it to collect to make the costume complete is:
A pocket watch
Decent screen-accurate replica of the Seventh Doctor's trousers (1987-89)
Another smokers hankerchief
Two toned wingtip brogues (brown and cream)
Who's your favourite Doctor?
Which Doctor is more underrated?
I have been suffering from mental illness since I was about 7 really. I had ADHD when young and was prescribed ritalin. I then went into phyrisatric care as an inpatient in Aug 1998. I left in December and went to 2 childrens homes until February 2002. When I left care I didnt need to take medication anymore and I felt so much better about myself. But on November 28th 2002 is when my recent illness started.
I have fears about harming people and it is in fact one of my main symptoms of my OCD. Its also one of the reasons I find it hard to work. Aty one point in my life I couldnt eat with a knife and fork, I can now though. I still have these anxeities, every day. And then there would be the panic attacks. When I first got the illness in Nov 2002 I started throwing up food. I couldnt eat very much at all. I think this was due to me being nervous and worrying that I would harm someone. I still HATE sharp knives. It even go to points where I used yto live there used to be this Army Surplus shop and obviously in there they would sell swiss army knives. Well I would get anxious that I would go in there, buy one and attack people with it. I had a problem like this when on hoilday in Zante, on my own. I was worried I would go out to the shops, buy a knife and harm people with it. This got me so upset. I really wanted an emergency flight back home. I also worry when I'm on a plane that I'm going to lose control and open the emergency exit or smash one of the glass windows.
I have this HUGE fear that I may lose control when around people. This also means I worry about sexually abusive people in public. Also when I pick up pencils, and pens I worry about stabbing people with the point. I used to shave with an electric razer, but now can shave with a gillette mach 3 turbo, which does the job alot better. I am going through alot of pain. Not many people in my family can understand that. I have one friend which makes me feel bad about myself. He once said
|"There you are George getting everything practically paid for you, and I have to work my butt off. Maybe I should fake being depressed and get medication. Then I'll be on benifits."|
This is really hurt me. I feel very guilty about living off benifits, but its not my fault I've got this illness. I was also hurt him thinking im faking being depressed. I feel very alone in how I feel.
I was having Therapy for my OCD on Mondays, but I found it differcult to motivate myself to get there and back. This has now ended.
I myself have depression as well as OCD. The place where I am living at, is for people with Disablities. I myself have Aspergus Sydrome and so do many others that live where I am living. My family hate me living there. I today had a converstion with my sister on msn, and she has now blocked me off msn and deleted me off Facebook. The reasons why I don't see my family very much is:
Mother: She lives in a villiage called Little Downham, the same villiage I used to live in (not same house) when I lived on my own between April 2002 - May 2004. I don't like going back to that villiage, because it gives me bad memories, from when I used to live there, plus in 2003, I was very ill indeed (mentally). Also the fact that my mum gets drunk every night is depressing to watch. She isnt what you would call a nice drunk. She gets moody and aggressive and very emotional.
Father: A total snob. He didn't let me or my sister come to his second wedding back in March 2003, because his bride to be didnt want us there. When I do see him, he doesn't really listen to what I have to say, most of it goes over his head. I don't see him often, because me and him don't get on that well.
Sister: Well me and my sister are total opposites. She thinks I should wear different clothes which will enable me to get more friends (ok, so I wear trousers more instead of jeans..big deal). She doesn't really understand my mental illness and thinks I live in a mad house. She is a total opposite to me.
Grandparents (Mothers side): I've never had all that much contact with them. I see them on special occasions though.
Grandpa (Fathers side): I see him on special occasions, and do phone him up once in a blue moon. He though wants to hear from me on a more regular basis like every week, which I find is too much for me.
I myself feel very lonely. And my family wonders why I don't spend lots of time with them.